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The true condition of our hearts is usually revealed best in marriage and conflict. Now they have little or no motivation to go after what God is trying to change-their hearts. Smith have a poor relationship and adopt, for example, the “give-to-get” principle, then, yes, this “giving” will seem to improve their dire situation. Simply put: “giving” in order to get something is manipulation. Would it surprise you then to learn that one of the most popular and best-selling books on love in the church today spends a great amount of time instructing husbands and wives how to “get what you want” from your spouse? While such an idea is common among “needologists,” psychologists, life-coaches, and the world, it is antithetical to God, His Word, and, ironically, to true love and respect.

And right in the middle of this list, we are told that one of the earmarks of true love is that it is “ not self-seeking.” Is there a difference between what the world says love is and what Scripture says?įirst Corinthians 13, arguably the most well-known definition of love in the Bible, gives us a straightforward list of what love–real love–looks like.

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